“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” ~Helen Keller
I can’t figure out what is different about this time. Am I more motivated? Am I tired of failing? Do I feel like I have something to prove? Did the status quo get too much to handle?
Point is, I’m uber-motivated lately…and I love it. I not only feel the need to get shit done, I am actually doing it. Whether it is home, school, or exercise, things seem to be moving along in a generally positive direction. I don’t know if the running is helping my mood, or if my mood is helping my running. Frankly, I don’t care. What matters is that I am doing it. Normally, at this point, I would start becoming skeptical of the situation and be waiting for the other shoe to drop, but not this time. I know that I need to keep on going positively and I am determined to do it.
Even with my running, I am feeling like this is something that I can keep doing. I know it’s only been a week and half but I don’t see an end in sight. Normally by now I would have given up, or gotten tired, or simply felt defeated. But not this time. I know that tomorrow when I get up to run I will probably be slower than a turtle in peanut butter, but I will be doing it anyway. Even today, when I wasn’t running because I had deep water jog, I was missing it and was itching to go. I know I have to pace myself and build up endurance, but it’s becoming something I want to do and maybe even *gasp* enjoy (especially when I go at 5 am and no one is around to hear me sing when I run).
And, quite honestly, I need this. Things were not going well, in so many areas of my life, and I knew that if I didn’t take action soon, something dire would have happened. I was beyond depressed; a feeling I hadn’t felt in so many years. I couldn’t see the light and felt like I was simply holding on by a thread.
I am not ashamed to admit that running is saving my life in more ways than one. And I will continue to run for as long as it’s helping…and then after that.
100 Mile Challenge Miles: 12.4
Pounds lost since starting 100 Miles Challenge: 4.2 pounds