“The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.” ~Author Unknown
One word: accomplished. That’s how I have been feeling lately. I can’t believe that in three weeks I have actually met a quarter of my 100 mile challenge goal. 25 miles may not be a lot for some (hell, marathoners do more than that in just one day), but to me it is a big deal. There has been an overwhelming response to my 100 mile challenge. It’s exciting and flattering to know that I am helping motivate people to become healthier and hopefully happier.
But, the kicker is (I hope you’re sitting down), that I am a giant fraud. Allow me to explain. Yes, I have made the choice to be a happier person. Yes, I have begun running and clocking my miles as a way to keep me motivated. Yes, I’m trying to eat better and live a healthier lifestyle. But really…
I feel like I am the queen of the half-assedness. I make all the plans and have all these ideas and never really follow through on anything. I can’t really think of one aspect of my life where I am giving 100% right now and that thought saddens me. The worst part is that while I’m not giving my 100%, I’m expecting 100% from everyone and everything else. I’m doing the running thing, but am I really challenging myself enough? Am I trying to improve and actually become a “runner” or am I trying simply to just get it done in the quickest time possible? I’m eating healthier, when it’s convenient. When I’m too tired to cook or clean, take out it is. I care about the environment and try to recycle when I can, unless it’s too much work. Even within my friendships I am not giving my full amount of effort that I could give, yet am demanding that people give me 100%.
I really need to put more effort into things and give 100% in my job, in my home life, in my relationships, and to myself.
Because really, if you’re only going to do something half way you might as well save the energy and not do it at all.