“You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Every so often, everyone needs to give themselves a big ol’ bear hug and treat themselves to some TLC.” ~Sean Covey
I feel like this every year, at least once, but especially around this time. The crushing feeling of being overwhelmed by the shear force of life. I’d like to think that it’s simply because of crunch time at work. I’d like to think it’s just because of the amount of money needed to sustain a family through the holidays. I’d like to think it’s the looming deadline of baby 3 approaching quicker than I can prepare. I’d like to think that it’s the idea of endings and beginnings coming in a few short weeks.
I’d like to think it’s just one of these things. But in reality it’s all of them…happening at the exact same time.
I tend to have problems feeling overwhelmed. I can’t even go to places like Target during busy times because I immediately just want to shut down and get completely exhausted at the thought. I wish I handled stress better. I wish in the almost 34 years I have been alive, I would understand what to do in these situations, before they even get overwhelming.
I feel like I’ve lost my way. I’ve been yelling way too much, trying to escape way too much, instead of getting to the root of why I feel this way and actually doing something about it. I haven’t been that nice to my family. I’ve haven’t been that nice to my friends. I haven’t been that nice to myself. I simply haven’t been the person that I want to be, the person I know I can be.
I’m caught up, once again, with the feelings of inadequacy, longing, and simply “keeping up” with those around me instead of living my life in the simple way, with the simple moments that I crave so much.
It’s time to take a break, from all the competition, the Facebook syndromes, the constant need to be the best. It’s time to refocus on the important things. As I tell my students, I need to “worry about me” instead of constantly worrying about what is going on around me.
I need to stop thinking that if I’m not constantly “connected” that I am going to miss something important. It’s because I’m so overly connected that I actually AM missing the important things that are going on all around me.