“We met for a reason. You’re either a blessing or a lesson.” ~Frank Ocean
There are very few things we do without the help of others. Many times there’s the “overt help”, the help you can see and understand, the type of help that never masks itself as anything other than help. It’s help simplified or help understood. We can take it at face value for what it is.
Then there’s the other kind of help. The help that swoops in wearing a mask. The help that may take days, or weeks, or even years to show itself. The help that you are fairly certain is actually not help at all.
This help comes in so many forms: toxic friendships, heart break, depression, fear. At first, these things are a negative force in our life, ripping us apart from the inside out, tearing us down so much that we believe we may never be able to build ourself up again. We believe there is no way for us to ever be whole.
But you know what I’ve learned? This is sometimes the best kind of help. While it may change our lives drastically, many times we come out the other side a little worse for the wear, but seemingly better overall. This is the kind of help that forces us to make decisions, make changes, face our demons. This is the kind of help that not only changes who we are, but makes us who we are.
Usually we vilify those people who change our lives in this way. We feel that that they’ve taken some essential part from us and we yearn to get it back, to make ourselves who we once were. But for me, at least today, I want to say thank you.
Thank you to the toxic friends, without whomI never would have discovered some of the truly amazing people in my life.
Thank you to the those who have caused substantial heartbreak, without which I never would have found running.
Thank you to the depression that has overtaken me on numerous occasions, without which I never would have known how wonderful simple joys can be.
It’s time to put the past behind me and move forward, embracing everything that’s gotten me where I am today, both positive and negative.
I finally think I’m ready.