Sigh. A week without wine. I’m ready to throw in the towel.
I’ve been thinking about Lent a lot lately. I’m not sure why, because I’m not particularly religious. I think it’s the whole idea about willpower and of beating myself at something. I’m nothing if I’m not competitive. I assumed that the hardest thing for me would be to give up wine and that if I could do it for Lent, I could do anything. And let’s all agree, this is not true. Giving up wine is not going to give me some insane super power that is going to magically change my life. It’s just not, and I feel foolish for even thinking it.
As I sit here in my dining room, the sun shining outside, and the wind blowing through the windows I opened, I’m pretty sure I’m doing this Lent “thing” wrong. As a matter of fact, I’m positive that I am. Joe and I each decided to give up something for lent that we felt we over-consumed. For me, wine (though I gave up all alcohol) and for him soda. And do you know what we did the minute we decided to give them up? We began planning for Good Friday when we can have them again. We know exactly where we are going to eat, and exactly what we were going to drink.
Each day we count how many more days we have until we can imbibe again. Our conversations and communications with each other throughout the day have picked up, but it’s basically each of us telling the other that we want wine or soda and the other one agreeing wholeheartedly before ushering in the “we can do it”s and any other encouraging comments we can muster.
So in a nutshell…we’re talking more but simply about what can’t have and planning for the minute that we can have it again.
I’ll say it again…I think we’re going about this the wrong way. Or at least I am. What is the point of giving up wine for lent if I’m going to go right back to it? What is the point of giving up wine for lent if it does not affect my life in any way (neither positively or negatively)?
No. This is not an excuse to go out and buy myself a bottle of wine right now and call it a day. It may seem like that, but it’s not. While many people tend to focus on the “fasting” portion of Lent, giving up something we don’t need, depriving ourselves of the excesses and luxuries we may have in order to become more attuned spiritually, we forget that Lent is really a time of self-examination and reflection, a time in which we look inward to really determine ways we can be better: whether it is ways to better serve the Lord, ways to grow spiritually, or simply ways you can make a positive impact on the world, or others, or yourself.
Maybe instead of depriving ourselves of something it would be more admirable to find small ways to change our habits. Maybe I should add in a reading time each day instead of TV watching. Somehow I feel like I never have time to read for pleasure, but have no trouble finding time to binge watch 10 episodes of The Office. Maybe I add a mandatory “no phone” time for myself (another black hole of time suckage along with the TV). Maybe I make sure I complete a mile every day (whether it’s walking or running) just to get some time outside away from technology with my family and boyfriend. Maybe I do all three.
To make a long story short (too late) I need to rethink this. If I want to do this right…really do this right…I need to start thinking of ways I can better myself for more than just 40 days. I need to be in it for the long haul.